12:30am advice

The phone rang minutes after I had laid down in bed last night (Monday, 3/21) at 12:30am.  I had finally decided to go to bed as waiting up for Bryson during his work week is rather pointless - actually it's pointless most nights but I usually push myself and will stay up until 12:30-  1:30am to see him...but after a few nights my body can't do it anymore...I have to sleep even if he doesn't get to.  If we are lucky he gets home a little bit before midnight at least one week each month.  This month is not that scenario.  For the past 2-3 weeks it's been between 2 - 4am when he finally gets home.  He is exhausted to say the least.  I'm tired as well.  We are tired and trying to figure out what to make of the continual stress and schedule of this job.


With these thoughts running through my head, I picked up the phone call as Bryson told me he was finishing up.  I have had these phone calls before - so I asked if he was actually waiting for the car or finishing up at his desk....the difference being about 2 hours on average between "almost being done" and really being done!  He was actually in the car on the way home.  WOW!  And that's when a blog post immediately popped into my head.  I would have gotten up to write it when I had the thought - however, once my body gets back up it won't go back down for the longest time!....thankfully the thoughts were actually still around a few hours later :)
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My advice to anyone whose husband might consider going into Investment Banking....

First, look at how much time you spend with your husband and as a family.  Now divide that in half.

And divide that in half again.

And half again.

And for good measure, and just to be on the safe side...divide that in half again.

Now that you have that number in mind, know that there are many times where you will need to divide that low number in half again.  To the point that you are whittled down to a decimal so close to zero, that you really might as well call it zero.

And that is how often you will see your husband during 'busy' project times and even 'regular' work weeks.

If you can look at that number and say that in all honesty you will be alright to see your husband for that small microscopic amount....than sign up!  If not, run away.  Take the Gingerbread Boy's advice to run, run as fast as you can!

And that is my very small, but very honest advice.
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As I shared these thoughts with Bryson we had a good laugh at our situation, at each other and the crazy situation we are in that there are many days and weeks where we primarily communicate via phone.  This past week, we have been sailing ships passing in the night/wee hours of the morning.  He comes home and collapses just a few hours before I get up with the children.

Then when I am up, it's a battle as we try so hard to keep things quiet for him, but with 3 children getting ready for school in this small space - that is not an easy task!  We zoom out of the house to get to school on time, and for the past few weeks I've had meetings and class projects to get ready for the Silent Auction going on at the school.  So, by the time Bryson does get up about 1/2 hour later I'm off to the next event for the day while he gets ready and heads into the office.  Even if I were to be home - our time together is 30-40 minutes.

I don't know if I'm becoming calloused to this life, but the past few weeks this crazy schedule hasn't bothered me as I've let it during some other times in the past.

It is what it is.

It might not be a normal that other people know.  But it comes back to this is our normal - and we are doing the best that we can with the situation and finding ways to thrive in the face of this rather peculiar schedule.  It's tricky, it's unique - and it definitely keeps us on our toes.

As much as we would love to have more time together - when we do get that time....oh how we treasure it, and love it, and try to enjoy it all we can {not perfect on this one....too bad, sometimes my mood takes awhile to adjust and I spend half a day crying because we are now finally spending time together!  Women and our moods - I don't think I'll ever understand myself!).  But we do enjoy whatever time presents itself to us, and consider ourself lucky if we are all together for even a few hours.

Now this little blog post that I had written in my head is much longer, and I'm thinking over this entire idea of how many hours a person works -  I have to say that I know others that are not in Investment Banking that have strained and heavy schedules.  For those that are fighting to stay up during long hours & scheduling in times to see each other just so you can say 'I DID see my husband/wife today!' - I have to say I hear you and I feel for you....we are there too.  And somewhere I hear that we might just become better for this.

Or, you could just remember to RUN!