Band of Brothers

As I've dropped and picked up the kiddos during these first days of school, I try to listen while they each simultaneously tell me all about their day.  I need a few more pairs of ears during some moments!  At some moments some are more talkative than others - but they usually warm up at some point on the drive or during the time we are preparing for dinner and want to share what game they learned in PE, the story they are reading aloud in class, or what they are doing at recess.

The conversation with Bryson Jr. happened while we were talking about recess & P.E. yesterday - while we were talking I found out that Jacob's class also has P.E. on Tuesday like Bryson, which is good to know so that appropriate shoes & clothing can be worn on those days.  However, more important than wearing the right shoes is what Bryson said after....

"Yeah, I didn't know that Jacob had P.E. on Tuesdays so I waited and waited to play with him at recess, but they didn't come out because they were still in P.E."

"That was nice of you to wait for Jacob - was this the first day you wanted to play with him?"

"No.  I play with him every recess.  Well, not lunch because we don't have the same lunch recess, but I play with him for morning & afternoon recess.  {pause}  It's more fun to play with Jacob."

I sat there quite surprised by this news that Bryson has just shared.  I wasn't necessarily surprised that Bryson admitted to enjoying playing with Jacob - I have seen them at home play with each other, and I know they have a great time.  It's also, I've seen them at home tease and get on each other's nerves in a major way.  What surprised me the most is that they were choosing to play with one another when not at home - when it's completely open to choice and there are dozens of others to play with.

As I've thought more about this, I can see that there is the personality of each child that factors in.  Jacob is more social in nature, whereas Bryson takes awhile to warm up to a group & on more than one occasion has come with a broken-heart when playing in a group to say that no one will play with him, or that they "don't get" how he wants to play.  This is why we prayed that Bryson would get accepted into this program that he tested into at the new school - it's a program for Accelerated Learners and our Bryson's brain is sharp & quick...but it tick-tocks in a different way than most of the children I've seen him play with.  He doesn't do as well in large groups, but he is a very extroverted child.  He loves to have interaction with others - he wants to tell you a joke, or a fact about something he read, and he really enjoys the physical play of sports and the typical playground games.  Although he is older than Jacob, I think he enjoyed the fact of knowing that his brother was at the same new school and that he could join in and play with Jacob - it's something that he knows, he is comfortable with.....and he enjoys it!

A few weeks ago in Sunday School we had our lesson on the Army of Helaman.  In talking about these amazing young men and all that they stood for, one mother pointed out that this is what we want from our children.  We want to teach them in our families and in our homes & we want them to go out and choose good because it's what they know is right.  She noticed that not always will our children be quick to obey in our own homes or make those choices that they have been taught (to play nicely with their sibling!) - however, she said that it makes her heart so incredibly happy when she hears from others that her children are choosing the right when outside the home - when they are at a friend's home, or at school, or on a trip with the youth, etc.  She said, "When it comes down to it - I'd rather have my children slip a little at home but go out in the world and make the best decisions, because that is where it really counts".

I have thought about what she shared, and then with this situation with Bryson & Jacob I realized of course I feel the same way!  I love when the boys (and Madeleine) all get along together at home.  The sound of them playing together in harmony is a heavenly sound!  However, knowing that they have found that their friendship is what can bring them together outside of our home - on the playground of a new school - that is heaven itself.

I'm so thankful for all the many reasons that it might have happened - that Bryson & Jacob have found out how to be friends and rely on one another in a situation that counted for at least one - but perhaps both of them - while they were away from my watchful eye.

As a closing - there is reality as well :)  Bryson Sr. told me the other night that while he and Bryson Jr. were running errands they were talking about our family & home and Bryson Sr. asked him if he was liking sharing his room with Jacob (we started getting Jacob's old room ready for the baby).  Bryson Jr.'s response was -

"Well Dad, I just don't think it's a good match."

Bryson Sr. asked him what he meant by that & Bryson Jr. went on, "Well, I mean I don't think Jacob and I are a good match.  He likes to have a light on when he goes to sleep & I like it dark."  He went on to give another example or two - which Bryson Sr. couldn't remember - but he said that Bryson had really though this out - why he and Jacob probably weren't the best bunk partners.

And yet, as we tell him, his is great practice for when you have a college roommate or missionary companions...and yes even in marriage when you have to work it out with the person you are sharing some space with.  You have to learn how to make it your match :)

These two boys will do just fine together in life - even in the moments when I hear them teasing, yelling at one another or are chasing each other to the point that the other fears for his life....I'll take heart in knowing that at they found their match on the playground.

That makes me one happy mom.